Some churches provide a separate service for children. Others include children in the church service for a portion of the service and then dismiss them to some other activity. All of these practices teach your children that the “Church Service is not for them.” Not only that, these practices imply that the faith of children is different from adults—perhaps even deficient from the faith of adults. This stands contrary to Jesus’ teaching that adults should be emulating the faith of children.
Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” (Luke 18:15–17 ESV)
Jesus calls us to receive His kingdom like an infant does. This teaches us both how we are to be like infants, simply receiving and accepting His Word, and how infants are like us—they, too, can have faith and receive Jesus. Otherwise, what would it mean for us to be like a little children in order to enter God’s kingdom?
Scripture teaches us in other places that our entrance into God’s kingdom is by grace through faith.
For Moses writes about the righteousness that is based on the law, that the person who does the commandments shall live by them. But the righteousness based on faith says, “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down) “or ‘Who will descend into the abyss?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:5–13 ESV)
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. (Ephesians 2:8–9 ESV)
Children and infants come to the Lord God in the same way, serving as examples of how to be recipients of God’s grace and mercy—examples of what it means to believe, that is, to have faith. We ask, “If we are to receive like infants, then why would infants not be in worship with the rest of us?” For this reason, then, we do not encourage or promote separating children from adults in worship. Rather, we encourage families to worship together as clearly happened in Jesus’ day:
But when the chief priests and the scribes saw the wonderful things that he did, and the children crying out in the temple, “Hosanna to the Son of David!” they were indignant, and they said to him, “Do you hear what these are saying?” And Jesus said to them, “Yes; have you never read,
“‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babies
you have prepared praise’?”
And leaving them, he went out of the city to Bethany and lodged there. (Matthew 21:15–17 ESV)
But my child is crying!! Or, is very busy!!!
We understand this! This is part of having children and we rejoice with their sounds!
We also know that sometimes a child will not be consoled and may need to be taken out of the church service for a time. Or that a child might be too busy to stay for the whole service. We encourage several practices that can help children:
- Sit up front – although it seems contrary to do so, children are more likely to pay attention to things if they can see what is “happening” up front.
- Have an activity for your child to engage them during different parts of the service—something that allows them to still listen and hear, such as drawing. We provide some children’s bulletins to help with this.
- Keep your child as long as you are able in the service. Take him or her out for a time and come back. Over time, your children will become accustomed to being in church. (We have a few places you can take your child to and still hear the service).
- Involve your child in the service
- Give a 4- or 5-year old a hymnal to hold and help them turn the pages.
- Take a child’s finger and help the child follow the words of the hymn we are singing
- Have the child sit or stand with everyone else; help your child to hold his or her hands when praying; teach them to join in with the responses.
- We provide words for which children can listen. They can keep track of how many times these words are said. These words have been even known to help adults!
- Slowly, over time, work toward full participation.
- Finally, at home, talk with your children about what they heard in church (in the liturgy, hymns, readings, and sermon).
We also know it is not just children that need help but parents do, too! So, if you are struggling with a child and his or her behavior, know that you have some resources in the congregation—parents and grandparents who have been there. We can come alongside and provide support and help as you need and desire. For example, a member of the congregation could become an adopted grandmother, grandfather, aunt or uncle, assisting you in the pew or even holding a crying baby to give you a break. Just let us know and we will do what we can to assist because we want all God’s people, including His little children, to hear His Word and to grow in faith.